praises and criticism a feedback loop

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praises and criticism a feedback loop
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Praise makes most people feel good but it makes me cautious. I wonder if I have misrepresented myself or if I am being overrated by someone with a limited frame of reference? Criticism challenges me to assess things more objectively. Did I screw up or is the person just crazy?
I have been meeting with some people recently and in the debriefing afterward, I realized that not everyone likes the truth. Many people want to be told what they want to hear. Typically complimentary things or things that fit well into their plans for the future.
The right answers are not always simple. Humans like to simplify a complex world to try to make sense of it. It leads to stereotyping or defensiveness. Whenever I sense both in people, I don’t try to change them, I leave them alone. People must find their flaws by themselves.
Most of the time they discover it through failure. At other times they continue to delude themselves and avoid the truth. I will be the first to admit that I am not perfect and make a lot of terrible mistakes. It is from those mistakes I have learned. I let others make them too.
Shame is a very powerful thing. It can be used well or it can be very damaging when it leads to denial. Only a few people have ever come back to tell me that I was right even when I told them what they didn’t want to hear. I married one of them. Feedback is a free gift, Always take it. People pay millions for it when it doesn’t come easily.

 

 

 

 

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